bound hedonism (caged_flames) wrote in vaginismus,
bound hedonism

exercise and Vag

hey! so here are the recent updates for me:
I hit a "wall" at the second dilator from I go to physical therapy once every two weeks. My gyno prescribed a muscle relaxer for me to try to get me past that barrier.
I have recently been working out with a bit more vigor- more often and more intense. I run, lift weights and rock climb.
Before being on the muscle relaxer and my recent increase of exercise, I had no problem with the smallest dilator and had pain with one size larger. Now, I am back down to the smallest dilator and it hurts.
could exercise be negatively impacting my progress? I'm so frustrated. I had a huge breakdown last night and big talk with my boyfriend. He has been extremely understanding and patient. We have been dating for over 3 years and have never been able to have uninhibited sex. now, because of my recent diagnosis, we aren't having sex at all because we understand the consequences. We are both worried about what will happen if I don't get beyond this. We wouldn't have a happy marriage if I never got through this. He says its so hard for him to even think about what would happen if in another 2 years things still aren't better. He wants to marry me but we won't get married if I don't get over this because it is so negatively impacting our relationship. He said its hard for him to bear thinking about leaving me because of it, but in the end if this doesn't get fixed we'll have to end it so he can move on with his own life. Sometimes I think about just breaking up with him so he can be free. but we live together and we really love each other so it seems stupid to break up so soon over this.
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