?

Log in

LiveJournal for Vaginismus Support.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Website (vaginismus.com).
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Subject:drug question...
Posted by:caged_flames.
Time:1:41 pm.
has anyone tried taking strong anti-anxiety medicine and then tried to have intercourse? I was thinking that something like Xanex or Valium would help with dialators and/or intercourse. it would get rid of the anxiety that comes with it which would decrease my body's reaction and seizing up.
Also, my doctor mentioned Botox as a viable solution for me because of my vagabond lifestyle because of the jobs I have for the next 6 months. I did a little research and found out that it hasn't really been fully accepted as a good method for solving this problem and they don't know the long term impacts. has anyone here had botox injections?
Comments: Read 23 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Subject:is this really vaginismus?
Posted by:mellebelle90.
Time:11:48 am.
Hi, i'm new to this community, and i've got some questions about whether or not i really have vaginismus. ive never had pain inserting tampons, or doing any type of sexual activities except for intercourse, but whenever i do attempt to have intercourse or when i am examined at the gynocologist, i end up sobbing from the pain! ive only had 2 sexual partners, the first of which i was ina rocky relationship with and we only had sex a few times, however, there was not any pain during sex. my second partner is my boyfriend of over 2 years, whom i have a fantastic relationship with, but i do have extreme pain when having sex with him. does anyone know why im having pain in the good relationship, and i didnt during the bad relationship? or if i even have vaginismus, considering i only have pain when having sex or when at the doctors? my gynocologist says it may be vaginismus, but he kind of just brushed it off like there was nothing he could do. does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? thanks :)
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Subject:My Beginning...
Posted by:mig22.
Time:11:31 am.
As odd as I feel about creating a forum, I'm told that sometimes it can help to hear from others who may understand. I'm 24 and I've finally discovered and accepted that I suffer from Vaginismus. Every since I hit puberty, I've had trouble regarding that area of my body. Never could use tampons, extreme pain during my annual exams (I even kicked a doctor once), and sex? Let's just say my high school sweetheart and now fiance (together for over 7 years) and I have a limited amount of it. However, I'm fortunate that he's as understanding as he is. After having enough of dealing with the pain every time, I did the research and pondered back and forth as to whether this is truly my problem. Amazed that other women received the same responses from their doctors as I did when asking for help. I was even told that my fiance wasn't doing it right! And while I unfortunately can't afford to purchase the pricey dilators and self help books, I'm determined to do what I can in order to beat this and for once enjoy a fully fledged relationship with my fiance.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Subject:a little update
Posted by:caged_flames.
Time:9:57 pm.
Mood: hopeful.
Hey girls!
So I figured I would update my progression. My back story is here. My gyno put me on Wellbutrin (70mg a day) and Lexapro. Apparently Wellbutrin can trigger anxiety (which I already have a good deal of) so she put me on lexapro to temper that. Here's what happened:
the first day, I took just the lexapro in the morning because I hadn't had the wellbutrin filled yet. boy did I feel funny. I felt really sleepy and groggy and my brain felt fuzzy.
It was worse the next day when I took both together in the morning. I also got a migraine.
Then, after talking to a friend who is on both (and hearing the advice from her therapist) I decided to take the wellbutrin in the morning and lexapro at night. I still had the fuzzy brain feeling during the day, as well as migranes, blurred vision and jaw clenching. The lexapro made it a little harder for me to orgasm (from oral, I can't do PIV yet) but I could after some extended effort. That's apparently a common side effect from lexapro.
I had migraines for 6 days straight, blurred vision and jaw clenching for about 5 days. On day 7 I had a slight headache and by day 8 was headache free. I don't have the jaw clenching anymore but I still have a little bit of blurred vision. It isn't bad, its just small print at a distance. Nothing major at all.
Now on to the good stuff.
After about 2 weeks I had that "aha" day (as my mother puts it). I talked to her about what I was dealing with and she told me that when she was on something similar, after a couple of weeks, suddenly one day she felt different and knew it was working. One day, I suddenly felt better. The work day went by faster and didn't seem so horrible, I didn't have negative thoughts, I didn't start randomly crying. Around this time my boyfriend told me he "felt like Ali was back" I had some depression issues on top of the lack of sex drive.

I have now been on Wellbutrin for almost a month. Within the last week I've noticed an increase in sex drive and had my first sexually oriented dream (at night asleep) in over a year. I think this has to do with not only the Wellbutrin but also the fact that I haven't smoked weed in over a week. In the beginning the pot would make me feel really sensuous and sexy but I think after you do it frequently over a prolonged period of time it decreases overall sex drive.
In January I'll be off my birth control, not smoking pot and on the Wellbutrin and Lexapro. I'm hoping to really make some progress.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, December 12th, 2009

Posted by:quickjam.
Time:7:34 pm.
Hello!

Just writing to express my good thoughts really. Hoping everyone is progressing well with Vaginismus. xx


I've reached a rather consistent pace, I feel as if I'm very close to beating vaginismus once and for all!

Just a few "anomalies" to go.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, October 30th, 2009

Subject:When will I stop being so tight?
Posted by:daisyw17.
Time:10:45 pm.


After years of attempting sex and tampon insertion, and dismally failing. I finally got an appointment with a gynocologist. She diagnosed me with vaginismus. She kindly gave me a set of vaginal dilators, which I have been using twice daily for 15 minutes each time. Insertion is impossible without loads of lube.
Anyway, how long will it be before I can actually have pain free sex/ actually be wide enough to have sex?
Anyone know?
Daisy :) xx

Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Subject:Double Triumph.
Posted by:quickjam.
Time:4:53 pm.
I arrived at my boyfriend's house yesterday, when the evening came 'round..

This is how it went - not necessary to read, but here if anyone"s interested.Collapse )

 Yesterday, I had sex for the first time ever!  Yay. =D Very pleased.

Then today, we tried again and inserting was a lot quicker (not quick, but you know how it is!) - there was an interruption though, so we stopped.

I think I'm mentally feeling better about this everyday.
Comments: Read 11 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Subject:Triumph.
Posted by:quickjam.
Time:10:33 am.
Mood: accomplished.
Success!!

My first real success in nearly three years. =O

Just wanted to share it.Collapse )

For the first time, I feel like I can truly say I might be able to have sex someday. =D
Wanted to share it with people who understand how much this means to me. Heh. Wish me luck for the future~ x

Good luck to you also! xx

Comments: Read 11 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, September 14th, 2009

Subject:Hello! Thanks for having me!
Posted by:waruma.
Time:11:30 pm.
I was diagnosed with vulvadina a few months ago after 37 years of being in the dark about what was wrong. I didn't even know anything was wrong with me, except for of course the excruciating pain. I didn't even know that there WAS a word for what I was experiencing... I've been having success with pelvic floor PT and was hoping to learn as well as be able to share what I;ve been experiening. 

I was prescribed Lidocane/Gabapentin topical gel which has been a lifesaver, for those of you who might behaving problems with dialators, this gel is a numbing agent, (lidocane) with a nerve ending calming agent (gabapentin).  I used this get before an internal exam by my PT and felt no pain at all. (shoc I will be getting the dialators soon and plan to combine the gel to help with the process.  The purpose of the gel is to eventually calm the nerves inside that only seem to register pain.  It has been helping.  Has anyone else used this type of gel before for treatment?

:-)

v
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, August 29th, 2009

Subject:yahoo group...
Posted by:ellen_the_snail.
Time:7:01 pm.
I know several people here have mentioned the yahoo group - I applied to be a member some time ago and got a couple of files (info, 'please send the moderator an email describing your experience' which I did) on the 5th of August but my membership is still pending. Does anyone know if this is pretty standard? It says the moderator tries to approve twice/week and I know things get backed up and time flies by but I was wondering if it was just me at the same time...
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

Subject:Hi All
Posted by:olly20082.
Time:1:12 am.
Mood: blah.
Howdy,
I'm 23 and I am currently on step 2 of the program from vaginismus.com. However, my boyfriend is giving me mixed signals. Mainly because he says that he wants to have sex and work through the program with me, but at the same time he wants space and doesn't want to spend too much time with one another. It's frustrating because I feel like I'm doing a lot for him when he doesn't even necessarily want to hang out with me everyday. I just recently talked to him about how often we hang out and at who's house, and it turned into a big discussion. So, I'm not sure how to breach the discussion about how I feel about sex right now. He has also let me know that no sex after a certain amount of time will cause him to leave and find someone else. This would break my heart, but it seems like if we have this talk, he'll just walk away.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

Subject:Dilator advice
Posted by:nomad____.
Time:11:37 pm.
Hello! I was wondering if anyone would be able to give me their thoughts as to what brand/type of vaginal dilators to purchase. I have never been diagnosed with vaginismus, but I have struggled with issues inserting anything at all up there, it used to be just a brick wall at the entrance, and I was actually diagnosed with a microperforate hymen (the hole is mad small), and I had surgery, a hymenectomy, a little over a month to remove the whole damn thing. It has definitely helped, and I now can insert a tampon, but nothing else larger it doesn't seem, and dilators seem like the best plan of action for me now that I can finally even attempt to insert things. My doctor told me I will probably need them to help me get comfortable with larger things also. I am buying them over the internet, and haven't found any sites that are useful in recommendations or advice or any of that jazz, so I thought I would turn to you lovely folks =]. Any advice is incredibly appreciated!

EDIT- Also, just wondering, is there any real intelligent reason that these vaginal dilators are only available with permission from your doctor http://www.hnmstainless.com/Silicone-Vaginal-Dilators-pr-571.html ?
lol it doesn't seem really reasonable to me, but the FDA isn't a big fan of being reasonable it doesn't seem. =] Sorry, mini-rant.
Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

Posted by:matilda_09.
Time:12:48 pm.
I must have been reading older entries, I see people are still active... My technological skills are apparently not up to par but I'll figure it out! :)
Comments: Add Your Own.

Posted by:matilda_09.
Time:12:30 pm.
Hi there,
The dates on the past entries I've been reading are from a while ago, so I'm really hoping people are still active in this community!

I've had vaginismus for as long as I can remember. I have never been able to use tampons and all the times I've had sex its been ridiculously painful. Penetration is possible, but it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced, and now I'm so scared of sex I haven't done it for 4 years. I finally found out what this was after my first pap smear (which was horrible) when my GP referred me to a gyneocologist who diagnosed me. Soon after that I got the dilator and book set from vaginismus.com but I'm too afraid to use it, as I seem to have put up a mental barrier aswell. 

I am only now starting to think about using the dilators (they have been sitting in the box in the back of my wardrobe for about 2 years) because I have found someone and I think we could have a relationship together but I'm too afraid to start anything while I can't have sex.

I never even thought of finding an online support until a few weeks ago. I think it might help me to unerstand why I even have vaginismus to talk about it with other women who are going through the same thing. Its not really something you can talk about with friends!

Any stories or discussion or helpful tips are welcome and appreciated!
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

Subject:V and feeling sexy
Posted by:caged_flames.
Time:11:10 pm.
So I feel like, my confidence has been somehow impacted by the V.
I used to be a dancer. No inhibitions when I was young. I guess as I got older, I associated dancing with sex, or sexiness. I feel like maybe, because I have all these issues with sex, its really hard for me to feel sexy, and hard for me to enjoy it when I do feel sexy. So I feel, anxious/guilty/awkward/fraudulent on the rare occasions when I do feel sexy. I feel like my feeling like that is a falsehood. When I feel sexy for a moment, a moment later everything comes crashing down and I feel like a fake. its extremely hard for me to dance in public anymore. Like somehow it is all intertwined. Does that make any sense to anyone else? Do any of you have the same feelings? Would sex therapy help? Does it help when you finally are able to have sex? How do you cope with these weird feelings?
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, March 15th, 2009

Subject:Introduction
Posted by:onateo.
Time:12:13 am.
Hello all, I've just joined this community and I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm eighteen and a virgin, and I had never been able to use tampons or insert anything into my vagina -- it was always too painful. So I went to my GP for a gynecological exam because I thought there might be something wrong with my hymen. I know that some girls have a hymen that is too thick and needs to be surgically removed. So she performed her little exam and told me I was physically normal. She inserted a finger, which was agony, and she told me that I subconsciously tighten up whenever anything gets near me which makes me even smaller than I already am. I was supposed to examine myself at home and come back three weeks later to tell her how I got on, but I was still unable to insert anything. She then told me that I might have vaginismus and referred me to psycho-sexual health clinic. I haven't made an appointment yet, but I plan too, even though the thought of it fills me with dread.

I'm very confused and upset by all this -- I always thought vaginismus came as the result of sexual abuse, or a very bad sexual experience, so I'm having a hard time understanding why this is happening to me. I constantly worry about it, it's always in the back of my mind. I worry about the effect this will have on future relationships. I feel like no guy will ever want to enter into a relationship with me knowing that I am the way I am, and I'm scared that I'll never be able to have sex.

Anyway, I'm sorry this was so long. I'm just so glad to have found a place where I can talk about this with people who are going through the same thing.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, February 27th, 2009

Subject:New to the community
Posted by:pagankittykat.
Time:1:27 pm.
Hello all. I just joined and wanted to introduce myself. I'm really happy to have found this community because (as you all know) it's tough talking about vaginismus. I'm 29 years old, and I lost my virginity at 19. I've always been able to have sex comfortably until about a year and a half ago. I'm not sure what happened, though I think it may be connected to my chonic yeast infections and vaginitis. So far, no doctor has given me any diagnosis, which is why I think I might have vaginismus and/or vulvar vestibulitis. I've found a new doctor that I like, and I hope she'll be able to help me with my diagnosis. For now, I have the book and dilator set from vaginismus.com and I'm working on that. I just feel very lucky that I'm married to one of the most supportive and loving men I have ever known. My husband has been with me when I was able to have sex, and he's stayed with me even though penetration is unthinkable right now. It's really tough on him, and sometimes I just feel so terrible about it.

Anyway, thank you all for listening.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Subject:exercise and Vag
Posted by:caged_flames.
Time:12:41 pm.
hey! so here are the recent updates for me:
I hit a "wall" at the second dilator from vaginismus.com. I go to physical therapy once every two weeks. My gyno prescribed a muscle relaxer for me to try to get me past that barrier.
I have recently been working out with a bit more vigor- more often and more intense. I run, lift weights and rock climb.
Before being on the muscle relaxer and my recent increase of exercise, I had no problem with the smallest dilator and had pain with one size larger. Now, I am back down to the smallest dilator and it hurts.
could exercise be negatively impacting my progress? I'm so frustrated. I had a huge breakdown last night and big talk with my boyfriend. He has been extremely understanding and patient. We have been dating for over 3 years and have never been able to have uninhibited sex. now, because of my recent diagnosis, we aren't having sex at all because we understand the consequences. We are both worried about what will happen if I don't get beyond this. We wouldn't have a happy marriage if I never got through this. He says its so hard for him to even think about what would happen if in another 2 years things still aren't better. He wants to marry me but we won't get married if I don't get over this because it is so negatively impacting our relationship. He said its hard for him to bear thinking about leaving me because of it, but in the end if this doesn't get fixed we'll have to end it so he can move on with his own life. Sometimes I think about just breaking up with him so he can be free. but we live together and we really love each other so it seems stupid to break up so soon over this.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, January 30th, 2009

Subject:Dilators
Posted by:caged_flames.
Time:4:40 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
So I tried out my new dilators today. First one isn't a problem. the second one sucks. It stings a lot and it seems like no matter what I do I can't relax. I can make it go in all the way, it just stings starting about 1/2 way in and I feel really tight. I've tried consciously tightening around it for 15 seconds and then releasing, (the way I do with my sensor in PT) but I can't release all the way and actually relax. I just return to the same tension I had before I started to squeeze. How do you deal with the stinging? I feel like the more I try, the more it stings, so the tighter I get.
Any advice?
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

Subject:I'm having a hard time....
Posted by:caged_flames.
Time:3:40 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
So, the physical therapy is going pretty well, and I just got my set of dilators this week. I have very little desire to use them, and only have one explanation as to why.
I have literally no sexual desire anymore. its all gone, null and void. I don't think sexually, get horny nothing. I used to want to buy sexy lingerie to help me feel sexy and then show off with my boyfriend. but now I don't really want or need any of it. I think it may have to do with my vaginismus.
have any of you had a similar experience? I don't know what to do. me and my boyfriend JUST moved in together (like, 3 weeks ago) and its really scary that I have absolutely no sex drive.
One of my friends asked me if its just that I'm not attracted to him anymore. He has gained some weight and aged a bit, but I don't think that that's the real issue, because its not like I'm fiending for someone else. I think that my vaginismus has lead my body to drop is sex drive. I mean, I'm attracted to him, and other people, but I think its different than other "normal" women. When I find a guy attractive, I like the way he looks, I like the way he moves, the way his body looks, but that is not linked to wanting to have sex with him. not anymore at least.
Does this sound crazy?
Comments: Read 12 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Vaginismus Support.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Website (vaginismus.com).
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.